Right when I graduated high school, I was scared as could be, as was everyone. Everything from the friends to the daily rountine of high school so something I had so accepted and at the time claimed I was ready to give up. I can't believe three years has already flown by and as much as I am ashamed to say I have not done half of as much as I wanted to accomplish within this past three years. I thought the drama would be over and done with and I accidentally start it without thinking at all, it gets taken out of contexts..I say the wrong things and then it gets all jumbled up in my face. I thought I had found someone with a deep connection and its turned into an arguing fisaco, pulling people in i never thought had anything to do with it. People will always judge and has some thought or judgemental opinion of me & Im over it. I am sick of knowing a huge number of people in Birmingham, I need a new scene. I feel like I can I am missing people that will never come back and its time I fully accept it and live my life like I would if they were still here! I have no idea what the hell I want anymore. I use to know every detail about myself and the details just keep changing and I can not figure out who I am. I get pulled into letting other people judge me that don't know me at all or my steps in life it has taken me to get to this point. I need a breather from people, responsibility, and anything that leads me to negative thoughts.
I do know I need to leave alabama, and get out of this box I have confined myself to. I want to feel the world, not just live it. I am sick of confined to being in my early 20's and just staying in my southern coulture. I want to be out of my box. I'm getting ready to move to the next biggest chapter of my life! And I want to do it with ONLY the people that have stuck by me through all the my life! I am excited, scared, and proud of myself for finally making this decision with myself & my family. It will be awhile before I can accomplish leaving but as soon as I can walk, I am walking out of Alabama with a head held high knowing I lived to the fullest here and its time to experience something different and new. I am finally ready! I have had little things that have made me realize I need to move on. I've lived in the same 20 mile radius my whole life, and I am finally adult and can make my own decisions and here it is!
No comments:
Post a Comment